友情，在乎。

想了很久，最后还是决定写了。
今天 2011/04/26 星期二。
我觉得很难过又很不开心。

这几天连续下来都在吵，到后来想想也不懂在吵什么。
今天妳说，那些是妳私事，叫我不要一直念。
虽然妳说不是认真，可是我看了那整个信息，我觉得是认真的。
我感到很伤心，很难过。
我只是想提醒妳罢了，就那么简单。
虽然我知道妳不能立刻就戒，可是我只是要提醒你罢了。
又不是说妳不可以这样那样。
我只是用念的方式，而且又不是认真的念。
我发个闷骚也有错吗？
为什么也要把那个拿出来说呢？
然后我就说一句，如果这些都不能念的话，这样我们当朋友有什么用？
其实，我只是在关心妳。
很多话都已经对妳说很多次了，因为我不希望再看到妳生病、那么辛苦。

我已经没力气按信息了，想不到什么可以回复了，脑袋顿时一片空白。
所以我就选择拨个电话给你。问你，到底现在是怎么了？
我都很冷静的说，妳却越讲越大声。我就问妳，为什么讲话那么大声？
妳就说妳心情不好当然讲话那么大声啦。
后来，说了说妳就挂我电话、关机。我都觉得，有必要这样吗？有事不能好好说清楚吗？
我很心疼，甚至流泪。为了这段脆弱的友情而流泪。
为什么我们之间会这样？我也不明白。
我只是希望我不是最后一个知道。
因为我很重视妳。
结果，妳给我的感觉是，妳根本就不在乎。
不好意思，那是我自己的感觉。
如果我不在乎，我会那么生气？
我真的不明白。

为什么会这样？我做错了什么？
明明前一秒还好好的。。。
为什么下一秒。。。就全部都变了。。。

很久没有这种心痛、心酸的感觉了。
那种感觉像自己能听到自己的心跳还有呼吸。
全身上下都没力气，脑袋一片空白。

我只想说，我只是很珍惜，很在乎。
更不想看到妳体弱多病。



我们的友情出现了裂痕。
感觉上，要补已经是很困难的事了。
希望能一点点慢慢的补回那个裂痕吧。
也希望是我自己想太多了吧。

突然想起一位朋友

好久没有 update 我的 blog 了。
今天突然心血来潮想写写东西。

过去你曾经是我非常好的异性朋友。
当初我们什么都可以聊，什么都可以说的。
我还记得我在 KL 多数都是跟你聊天。
你是我一位非常好的朋友。
因为我的矛盾，所以今天我们才弄到这种地步。

虽然说我已经跟你道歉了，可是我还会觉得很尴尬。
想说话，可是却说不出口。因为不知道该说什么。
即使现在你在我眼前，我也不敢正视你。
因为会觉得很尴尬。
那种很熟悉，却又陌生的感觉。

如今我会想到你，因为我现在也是很矛盾。
想要找个朋友来聊天，所以第一个就想到你。

可是，我想现时已不同往日。
我会顾虑到很多元素。
老实说，我对人与人之间的关系产生了怀疑。
因为之前被人“插”那么多刀，已经完全失去信心。

其实最了解我的朋友是你，所以我跟你有好多话谈。
可是我觉得现在，应该一切都改变了吧。

除了可惜，我还是觉得可惜。
如今我很矛盾，却不知道该找谁来谈。
虽然很多朋友，可是真正能聊心事的朋友不多。
加上有些事情又不方便告诉太多人。

有时真的很想主动去找你。
可是。。。又担心被人讲嫌话。
你的朋友圈多数都是一些我不怎么喜欢的人。




现在一切都已经改变了。
如今唯一的遗憾就是失去你这个好朋友。

No Other

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me

Your two warm hands get cold when I’m cold, your heart which used to be strong gets sensitive when I’m hurt
To silently take my hands, to silently hold me, I only wish for those small comforts
You don’t know this heart of mine, which always wants to do more for you

My heart, say it out loud, my free soul
The days left are even more than the time when I came love you with a heart which always felt like the first time

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me

When my greedy heart gradually looks to other directions, when my greeds grow more than my mind can handle
To understand, to tell me clearly after all those excuses “I’m here”, only that one thing
I’m always thankful. Will I ever act that well just like you

My heart, say it out loud, my free soul
The days left are even more than the time when I came love you with a heart which always felt like the first time

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me

You know what, little much little even though I’m shy, you don’t know it but you’re burning like the sun, please understand my heart
Even though those girls appearing on TV shows are sparkling, I always look at you (I’m crazy crazy Baby)
Hearing you tell me “I love you”, I have everything in this world You & I, You’re so fine, Is there even anyone like you?
I love you Oh, please know it, that to me there’s only you, that I foolishly see you as my everything

We came on the same road, we are just like each other, how surprising, how thankful, it’s just love

There’s no one like you, even if I look around it’s just like that
Where else to look for? A person good like you, a person good like you, a heart good like you, a gift good like you
How lucky, the person who will try hard to protect you is just me
Where else to look for? A guy happy like me, a guy happy like me, a guy who laughs with the greatest happiness like me
There’s no one like you

31/12/2009

So, what I'm going to write?
This is so gonna kill all of ya'll.
Because I'm exactly outta mind of what I'm going to write.
Yah... Duhz...

So, today is the last day of the year 2009.
And tomorrow will be the starting of the year 2010.
New year resolutions? Well, let me think about it today and post it later on tonight. =P
I'm quite happy with the companion of my dear friends.
I spend my time happily back in Sibu.
Though there are some mistakes I made.
But still, life goes on.

Dear friends, I'm glad to have you all by my side.
Thank God I found you all. =)

It's been quite a long time since I last update my blog. =)

哇。。。我的部落格开始长满蜘蛛网了。。
Long time didn't blog dy, my blog started to fatt mou dy.
It's been quite a while since I last blogged. =)
Hmm... What I wanna say... My brain also berkarat dy... =(
Need to start off exercising my brain dy.

Erm, don't know want to write in English or Chinese...
Sorry yah. =P
If you all prefer me to write in English, then I will write in English. ^^


最近的心情很低落。
不懂为什么。。。
跟感情无关。是我自己的事情吧。
哎。。。无奈。。。不懂怎么写出来。。。
等我有空下再想怎样写吧。。。呵呵~~~
又是一个失眠的夜晚。。。

I want to dye my hair!! =(
My hair is almost black now.

This is life.
We can't expect everything to be in perfect condition.
Though we expect it to be in perfect condition.
So, just accept the way it is and live happily ever after.

............

Duh... This is not a fairytale kay!?



What should we do when we feel totally lost?
The answer is - SLEEP. xD

There's quite lots of stuffs happening recently.
And I feel totally annoyed and pissed off.
But, I still need to calm down for everyone's sake.
But, there's always a limit in ones patience. =)

I miss you guys, all of you out there.
Including you, who is reading my post now. =)
Though I have no idea who's reading my post now. =(

And sorry for not updating my blog for a long long long time.
I'm kinda busy these days. And I am kinda lazy to blog actually. =P

Blah... I have no idea what to write now.
So, live your life and bubbye~

Guess what? I got no idea what to write. Getting a little bit " rusty " dy.
Gosh, anyone agree with me? Our holiday is so long, until I almost fatt mou dy. =(
I guess others already fatt mou dy... xD
Slap me please... Come on... What is R? R = Ribena?
Well, these pictures were taken few days ago. So, enjoy. =)

「ありがとう」と君に言われると なんだか切ない
当你对我说“谢谢你”的时候，不知为何我的心里有些疼痛。
「さようなら」の後も解けぬ魔法 淡くほろ苦い
说出再见以后也仍未能解除的那魔法，之中透着点点苦涩。

友達でも 恋人でもない中間視点で
既非朋友也非恋人，我站在这样一个中间点
収穫の日を夢みてる青いフルーツ
像一个尚未成熟的青色果实那样，梦想着收获那天。
あと一歩が踏み出せないせいで
只因如今一步也无法迈出
じれったいのはなんので
心里才如此焦急不安

「ありがとう」と君に言われると なんだか切ない
当你对我说出“谢谢”的时候，不知为何我的心里有些疼痛。
「さようなら」の後も解けぬ魔法 淡くほろ苦い
说出再见以后仍未解除的那魔法，之中透着点点苦涩。

甘いだけの 誘い文句 味気のない毒
仅仅透着甜蜜的诱惑的字句，是无色无味的毒药。
そんなものには興味を そそられない
我对这种东西没有兴趣。
思い通りにいかない時だって
即使是想不开的时候，
人生捨てたもんじゃないって
我也没有放弃掉自己的人生。

「どうしたの？」と急に聞かれると ｢ううん。何でもない｣
当你着急地问我怎么了的时候，我只是淡淡地说着嗯没什么。
さようならの後に消える笑顔 私らしくない
分手之后立即掩藏起笑容，那不是我的作风。
信じたいと願えば願うほど なんだか切ない
我是真的想要去相信你，却不知为何心里在隐隐作痛。
「愛してるよ」よりも「大好き」のほうが 君らしいんじゃない
比起说“我爱你”，“我很喜欢你”这样的话才像你的风格不是么？

忘れかけていた人の香りを 突然思い出す頃
突然间再次忆起那个早已忘却的人，
降り積もる雪の白さを思うと ah~~ 素直に喜びたいよ
忆起片片积雪的洁白。真想坦率地不再掩饰这满心欢喜。

ダイヤモンドよりもやわらかくてあたたかな未来 手にしたいよ
比起昂贵的钻石，我更想握住安稳而温暖的未来。
限りある時間も 君と過ごしたい
此后有限的时间，也只想和你一起度过。
「ありがとう」と 君に言われると なんだか切ない
当你对我说出“谢谢”的时候，不知为何我的心里有些疼痛。
「さようなら」の 後も解けぬ魔法 淡くほろ苦い
说出再见以后仍未解除的那魔法，之中透着点点苦涩。

First Paper - Criminal Law

Yesterday was my first paper - Criminal Law.
Well, at first I was damn calm dy on the morning.
Don't know why after sms with Hui Min, she kept on saying that she's worried and scared, I also became scared. LOL!!
Ok, guys, previous night around 3am, I mass sms to all of you.
And yesterday morning, I received quite a lot of sms from you all.
Thanks for the support.
I almost collapsed dy.

Ok, early in the morning, around 8:20am stg, after my bath and preparation, I went to SMK Kampung Nangka, Sibu, where I sit for my examination.
When I arrived at the school, there're a lot of people, I mean damn lots of people standing still from inside the school to outside the school. The line even crossed the gate of the school.

At first, I thought...

" Wah, I come here for examination only wor, need so much people to welcome me har? "

And then I realized they are not there to welcome me, but to interview to get the post of temporary teacher, I guess. =(

I thought the examination was at 10am, but it's actually at 9am.
Phew~ Luckily I arrived earlier.
Ok, the examination hall part.
This is the freaky part.
There's only 2 candidates, yes, listen clearly, TWO candidates ONLY!
In that big hall which can be used by 100 people or more.
And the condition was damn cold, so I asked the examiners to switch off one of the aircond which was blowing at me.

Well, what do I feel? Nervous and regret lah!
I should have take the examination back in KL.
Damn wei...
What do you feel if there's 4 examiners looking at you doing your questions?
Kuat tension LAH! My hand was like shaking!
I tried to calm myself down by prayers. =(
Blah blah blah...
There they go, walking around me like 24 hours non-stop.
Imagine yourself lah... =="

I'm done with one of the papers dy.
3 more papers to go.
And I'm getting sick. =(

Ok, I know this post is not so nice, I'm just too tired to produce a better post.
Sorry guys. =(

EXAMS!! =(

Examination is finally here.

Almost vomit blood already!!

aaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHH~~!!

如果。。。

如果真诚是一种谎言，

我选择谎言;


如果谎言是一种伤害,

我选择沉默;


如果沉默是一种伤害,

我选择离开.

Examination =)

I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But it's different with my final examination. I have no idea how it comes and goes. Most of my friends started to become nervous dy.

" Oh what should I do?? Examination is just around the corner!! "
" OMG!! Still got so many haven't finish la weih~ "

Some even cried at night at the corner. Some even talked to themselves.
Some even tend to do something silly.
Hmm... That sounds familiar... Oh... I remember!! It's Elizabeth!
Hey Eli, I was very happy when you said you wanna join me to do silly thing back at Hang Tuah Monorail.
Because everyone tend to reject my idea when I suggest to do something crazy.
But I think, sometimes its good for us to do something crazy and exciting.
Don't you think so? =(
And the time you wanna screw me for immitating Rubey's dad. =D

A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think. Sometimes being too complicated isn't the right way. Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world without having an effect on the rest of it.

Well, for me. I was quite tension as well.
After you need to stay awake until 4am in the morning and wake up at 9am, you tell me what you feel LAH!!

But, I found something interesting recently. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Sometimes it's nice to have a song that can be taken more then one way, so it can be interpreted differently. You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. Thanks for the compliment. =)

The difference is too nice - Where ends the virtue or begins the vice.

All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust! Just be confident with yourselves guys.
Honestly, I miss you all. I miss the time we had been together throughout the year. =)
I dropped my tear when leaving KL. NO!! NOT CRY! Just accidentally drop the tear kay!!
Because Queenie, my sis, sent a sms to me. That sms lah!! xD

Everyone, try your best! Good luck! God bless you.

Alina dai kar jeh, cheerz. I know what you feel these days. Examination is just around the corner sis. Gambateh yah. =)

[c=6]yuri[/c] says (7:29 PM):
y u din blog sumtin?




Ok well, the main reason is... I'm quite busy at the moment...
With my revision and tension... =(
So, no time to blog loh.
And plus, I'm quite lazy to blog. LOL
Haha... Lily! Paiseh ah... After the exam, everyday blog also no prob.

Hey, btw, examination is really killing me.
I have to sleep late and wake up early everyday.
For example, this morning.
I slept quite late last night, around 4am something, almost 5am.
Hmm... Then ah... I slept at the wrong pose on my comfy bed~
The sun shine directly on my face around 9am something just now.
OMG!! =="
Chamz or not, you say loh... That's how I woke up this morning.
Else I will be waking up around 1pm something dy... xD

This is the clay-made key chain which had been together with me since 2006.
It was broken into half after I accidentally knocked it on the wall yesterday afternoon.
This clay-made key chain is a special one.
It was specially made! It was carved in very neat and perfect condition!
But... I broke it!!

Front view

Rear view

I'm feeling totally blue now

Not So Sunday

Totally feel like hangover today